Reclamation

In other words: 
 
If You can Openly talk about Your trauma and recovery—your life story; among your own tribe,  petition to them your pain, commiserate the likeness of what hurts the most, then-now, embrace it together, come out laughing ten minutes later 'bout it... you just may be recovering from a hopeless state of mind and body. You are free for the moment. And this is true love and healing power.
 
For all that have ears to listen with, can listen with, will listen with... want to listen with— 
 
—and are hungry, lonely and tired;  Hand them your heart, keep it rare, throw some oysters on the plate with it, a pearl awaits in all.  Portioned your heart for the hungriest of hearts, freely give, perhaps somebody may need it. Keep it in your sacred circle, void of abject unreality, self-demoralization, self-condemnation. Were all made of dirt.
 
—without taking the lead-role in the ongoing saga of "Drama and Trauma" sinking into the abyss of self pity, wallowing in your own pathetic shit...knee-deep til death do you part, lest we recover too, remember.
 
Give' your heartache' to God, truly. Trust in life, and those around you, it does comes, we do fit somewhere when we need it most.

Cry into a pillow ritualistically if you feel the need, there's so much goddamn shame for crying aloud...for some reason, and I don't know why— 
 
—its not that complicated, but show your weakness. From the pain that's held you hostage for so long...You'll find your strength, you will find you—and love yourself for it, and even more, love God for being alive.
 
—for its Grace your feeling, all the shit that hurts so much...its the One whispering in your ear... "your gonna be fine baby, just a little while longer, hold on, you'll be home, I'm with you, keep trudging."

—if you thought you'd never be able to stop crying once you started... and didn't care anymore, you just may be giving it all away to God...'cause there's no other place for it, to put it... you may be recovering. And goddamn brother does it feel good to let the floodgates open up.

We're —all— only,  as sick as our secrets.  And we-be all sick, and he who thinks he isn't, by God is the sickest of them all. He sufferers from pride.

—If you have a "true-balanced account" of your constitution, life patterns and rhythms, backed up with facts (dare we look)... weighted and measured on the scale of—attributes/defects of character by method of working through 4-5th Step process, if you posses emotional sobriety, (soundness of mind-peace) you have, indeed... recovered— for the moment.

For it would be impossible to do otherwise... to live your life like an open book. Wouldn't it be now?
 
Sobriety holds her letter in hand.

Who is willing to boast their weakness?

It is very unwise and unhealthy(my unfortunate experience) to write about trauma, speak 'bout it to others who have no real understanding what the fuck your talking about, without first getting professional help— Some may even use your trauma against you....compounding the problem even more.
 
—Pay head, or surely you will need professional help afterward, otherwise.
 
Swimming in your psyche requires knowing your triggers; hang around the tables awhile in 12 Step meetings... feel your way through it some first before you get to heavy.  Jump in the back pocket of somebody you know you can kick their ass... its a false sense of security for sure, but shit... it s a start when were all scared to death, so inferior sitting in our God awful littleness. 
 
We can't do it alone...and who the hell would want to, its utterly miserable trying.
 
Being in recovery so open is a very stripped-down naked vulnerable feeling, esp. when processing trauma of any-kind, its like flapping in the wind in a free-fall, so I stay in healthy circles when processing. Trauma is like a bug light when untreated.... attracts strange ass bugs.
 
Your gonna attract a lot of bugs 'tho.... if you shine, esp. in recovery.  If you have trauma, you will most certainly shine...ipso-facto. Some bugs have the sense not to get to close to the light. They have seen the coming attraction, and others...who didn't.
 
 Get a little time under your belt...let it all digest, but dear God go for it, stop holding your breath...surface.

 Psychotherapy works...maybe the only thing that can work for hardcore trauma but its the fellowship of others who understand your shit, that saves our ass. The sea is filled with beloved pirates.

If your psychotherapist doesn't have a psychotherapist, find another psychotherapist... now.  
 
Who needs another professional making more a mess of your alphabet-cerebral-soup.

Now excuse me while I step of my soapbox.
pek



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