MudBlogs

62822 “Anonymity is the Spiritual foundation of our program, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” There is a wee bit of a “self-sacrifice” ;) when you share your story in a meeting, with somebody personally, and especially with the world, I am here to tell ya. lol There are a few reasons why “we” stay anonymous... the 1 st ., is about “spirituality,” 2 nd ., “humility,” 3 rd ., the “heavy stigma” “we” still suffer from the “public.” Ignorance is not bliss. Folks can lose their jobs, repute, etc., etc., ad nauseum, with community, peers and even family members when we become “visible.” Many “rubber necks” are shocked by the lives “we” lived before “proper” treatment, and how easy it is for “us” to talk about, be cathartic, “air it out.” I have been very open about my recovery since I got into the program, “1990.” I am a staunch advocate for recovery, I mold my life around my recovery, and that which does not fit into that mold does not stay in my...

  6202022 Bipolar... “the truth will set you free, but not before breaking your heart, your bank account, a few bones, a few boundaries, a few good relationship, here and there, and your sense of “reality.” Courage is not being “fearless.” Courage is being scared “shitless,” savvy? “Pause....” taking that deep breath, holding it for just a second, then slowly letting it out, moving outward of the fear, with the breath... then move forward, one step at a time, ten-minutes longer, ten-times stronger... … “that” is “courage.” I've been wrestling with the “angels” every since I had this “manic” episode 4-5 years back, when I was so sick with chronic pancreatitis, in so much unbelievable pain, on so many different levels, dying daily. It pushed me over the edge, it was more than my brain could compute, my emotions could handle, and it landed me a diagnosis of “Bipolar-1” at the time, because it presented itself that way, and I concur, the “appropriate diagnosis” for if o...